the stillness: songs
the music of Jacob Pete.

 
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #
A
All the Rage
listen:
negative: All the Rage

lyrics:
do what i say, but don't do what i do
spoiled brats are easily "abused"
i don't care if billy's mom let him
peer pressure is a deadly sin

antisocial freaks should stay at home
confined to separate rooms but not alone
chained to desks with cameras all around
where they write their stupid little songs

disaffected youth don't want your help
just don't take us seriously at all
learn from your mistakes but forget why
losers are not winners when they die

antisocial freaks should stay at home
confined to separate rooms but not alone
chained to desks with cameras all around
where he writes this stupid little song



Almost There (OK)
listen:
there they are, arrest them all: Almost There (OK)

lyrics:
What's there left to say
There is no sun today
(and) I don't know what or how to play
No one hears it anyway...
and i know...

I know there's gonna be...
I know there's gonna be...

People leaving if I stay
Weather changing everyday
(and) ears plugged up when I sing
But that's OK

and here comes my friend the crow
He's my only friend, you know
(and) he just sits there in his tree
(and) he just sits there and looks right back at me
and i know...

I know there's gonna be...
I know there's gonna be...

No crows up in the tree and
(and) phone calls from family
(and) frozen engine fluids possibly
'cause winter's almost here

I know she's gonna leave
and I know I'll think "poor me"
and to top it all off there's gonna be
People laughing at, not with me
(and) lots of self-sympathy
(and) a job at Mickey D's
(and) not enough gasoline
(and) a foot of snow on Halloween
(and) it'll all be ok next week

goodnight...



Anhedonia
listen:
negative: Anhedonia
recorded summer of 1997(?) when jacob was visiting one of his parents.. i don't remember which.  apparently he couldn't take his guitar, but at one point during the visit had access to a guitar and a tape deck for about two hours, so he recorded everything he played.  solo jacob guitar.  -paul

lyrics:
songs aren't important if nobody likes them
that's true for people, too
mid-life crises are psychosomatic
and rarely have consequences

it's so exhausting
i need a break
singing is futile
when the words really suck

it's so exhausting
to think up this stuff
singing is futile
when the words really suck (so i won't)

alternate version:

staring, but not seeing
thinking of the thought (itself)
breathing, but not living

nothing's worth the effort
just leave it all behind
singing is so futile
when the words just bring you down

empty head and stomach


B
Beppo and the Supermonkeys
listen:
positive: Beppo and the Supermonkeys
music by jacob, lyrics by me.  jacob on vocals, aborted attempt.  then me.  embarassing.  jacob and josh on guitars, maybe some ukelele thrown in.  1996?  -paul


Birdie
listen:
positive: Birdie
Dimetapp Session 1997.  jacob guitar, me on ice cream buckets, josh placing the microphone too close to an amp.  -paul


Blind Spot
listen:
negative: Blind Spot
solo jacob on guitar, 1997/8? -paul


Burnout (Fiend)
listen:
positive: Burnout
negative: Burnout
negative: Burnout
from a recording we did at Bobby's house in the summer of 1998 that featured the first demos we did with scott on drums. so it's jake, bobby, scott and i. -garrrr

lyrics:
Die as a fiend
Burn as a mental case
Hello Mr. Dark
Welcome Mr. No Face
I know where I am
You put me in this place
I could feel your pain
When you shoved the barrel into my face

I'm burnin' out (3x)
I'm going out
I'm burnin' out
I'm burnin' out
I'm burnin' out again

Where will I go
After I die?
I'm goin' to hell with him
Goin' out strong
You'll come along
I'm burnin' out again

chorus

solo

chorus 2x


C

D
Dimetapp Josh
listen:
positive: Dimetapp Josh
recorded during the infamous Dimetapp Session in the summer of 1997 after josh drank a bottle of Dimetapp.  josh solo vocals.  jacob and i looked on in amazement. -paul


The Dumbest Song Ever
listen:
Nothing Yet: The Dumbest Song Ever
Wordless - dark / The Dumbest Song Ever
Nothing Yet Session 1997/8.  jacob and me on guitar.  we'd been drinking orange soda.  -paul

E
The Egyptian Song
listen:
Nothing Yet: The Egyptian Song
Nothing Yet: untitled / Egyptian song medley
Nothing Yet session 1997/8.  jacob and me on guitar.  -paul


English Project
listen:
Soundtrack: English Project
jake and bobby's project for english class in high school, they had to write a medieval ballad or something like that. they got a B i think because it was too verse/chorus/verse. -garrrr


Eric
listen:
Soundtrack: Eric
jake playing drums while his cousin? eric who was about 2 years old yelled into a mic. -garrrr

F
Filk
listen:
negative: Filk


Filler
listen:
negative: Filler
negative: Filler

lyrics:
Make some lines that rhyme and add a tune
Original songs are way too hard to do
Write a hit and play it 'till it's dead
Same old songs keep running through my head

This one's just a filler
All the rules apply
This song's just a filler
Filling up my life
Four lines and a chorus
Meaningless but true
This song's just a filler
But it's all I can do
It's all I can do

Songs about themselves are not that long
This is just to prove that statement wrong
Repetition is a stupid ploy
Used by {"stupid, ugly" or "mediocre"} blonde-haired boys

This one's just a filler
They all sound alike
This song's just a filler
Filling up my life
Happy chords and rhythms
Hide my feelings swell
Just a simple filler
As if you couldn't tell
As if you couldn't tell

This song about itself is almost done
Now you can continue having fun
The last verse is always the best
That's not the case here at all I guess

This one's just a filler
All the rules apply
This song's just a filler
Filling up my life
Four lines and a chorus
Meaningless but true
I am just a filler
But it's all I can do
It's all I can do
It's all I can do
It's all I can do
It's all I can do


G
Gasoline Rainbows
listen:
negative: Gasoline Rainbows
negative: Gasoline Rainbows

lyrics:
future's bleak, love is dead
shallowmindedness, superficiality
simple replacements for empathy
feel no pain, it isn't real
just a dream

discard the hurt, let it go
let it go

recycled hearts try again
torn and torched, born anew
overused and broken
but still they try,
so naive

don't understand
i don't understand why i was here
here holding hands
holding hands

rejection's on the rise
this year is record high
you guessed it, depression too

don't understand
i don't understand why i was here
here holding hands
holding hands



Gordy and the Worms
listen:
GMR Demos: Gordy + The Worms

H
Happy Thought (My Happy Thought/In Your Eyes)
listen:
positive: Happy Thought
written in 1997 for Chandra.  -paul


Hovering
listen:
GMR Demos: Hovering

lyrics:
A copper man
Inside his circle says
"Pick me up"

He doesn't mean a thing by it
But he says
"Goodluck"

Through it all, I'm still crazy
There's something in the clouds
Rolling in
There's something in the air between us
There's something in the clouds
Hovering

The wells run dry and it's just like...



How I Miss You

I
I Give Up (Give Up)
listen:
GMR Demos: I Give Up

lyrics:
I'm sure I'll see you around
and when I do
I'm pretty sure that
We'll both look at the ground

It makes me hate myself
More than I think you'll ever know
To see the stupid animal inside is taking over

When I gave in
I gave it all I had
I guess it's time
I give up

I've heard all this stuff before
and nothing's any different
Because it's just hurting more and more and more and more and more

I can waste away
In a private hall of mirrors
as long as I've got ears
and hands
and half a brain

When I gave in
I gave it all I had
I guess it's time
I give up

When I gave in
I gave it all I had
I guess it's time
I give up

I give up



I Hate Kevin Mosher


I Like Pizza
listen:
Soundtrack: I Like Pizza
the epic pizza song that jake was so fond of back in 1999.  i added a bunch of sound clips to this one to spice it up. -garrrr


Icepick Lobotomy
listen:
positive: Icepick Lobotomy

lyrics:
it won't hurt at all
you can run into a wall
and you won't feel a thing

it won't hurt that much
when you feel death's touch
when you hear the angels sing

it'll make you cry
when you know you're going to die
but i can make you numb

it won't hurt a bit
when you're screaming
bloody shit, it'll make you numb



Ill-Fated
listen:
Soundtrack: Ill-Fated
an acoustic demo of a nothing lasts forever* track. yet another sound clip of jake slowed down to fit the end of the song but i forgot what the sound clip said. oh well. -garrrr

lyrics:
Kill the Weathermen
I'm sick of sixth-sense headaches
Stop the Weathermen
I'm sick of sixth-sense headaches

Here comes the guilt trip
Black and red and bluish-green
Here comes the guilt trip
Getting older in my dreams

âuck the weathermen
I'm sick of sixth-sense headaches
âuck the waethermen
I'm sick of sixth-sense headaches

Here comes the guilt trip
Black and red and bluish-green
Here comes the guilt trip
Getting older in my dreams

I love you, I know you


In The Woods

lyrics:
Intro:
"The stars out at night
They still won't find me though
No one's gonna find me
I'll leave before dawn
Nobody's gonna find me
It's just too dark out"

A red sun in a red sky
The breeze through an open window
The ants crawl by one by one

Meanwhile I'm lost in the mountains
and asleep at the wheel

Then a line of locals are blocking the road
I'm carried off and fed
to the monster in the woods

I'll dig until my fingers bleed dry
I'll pray until my knuckles burn hot white

Why? (Are you still listening?)
Why? (It's just tape noise)
They only come out at night (Are you still listening?)
They only come out at night (It's just tape noise)
Why?

Why?
Why?


J
Jungle Beat

K
Keep on Choking
listen:
positive: Keep on Choking
recorded during the infamous Dimetapp Session in the summer of 1997 after josh drank a bottle of Dimetapp.  josh vocals and guitar, jacob guitar, me on ice cream buckets/aluminum pie plates. -paul


Kill Me Now
listen:
positive: Kill Me Now

lyrics:
i'm so depressed, my head's a mess
i'm going nowhere cause i have no life
i want to die i want to die i want to die, kill me now

i'm suicidal, kurt cobain is my idol
i'm going out in a blaze just like him
i know i'm ugly, i'm so fucking ugly
i want to die, kill me now

i want to die i want to die i want to die kill me now
i want to die i want to die i want to die kill me now
(repeat until you get sick of saying it)


L
Last Saturday
listen:
negative: Last Saturday
Offending Command: Last Saturday
Or Is He?: Last Saturday

lyrics:
Finally I've found a way to get away from me
Indebtedly, I've found the way to run away from me
and stay there for a while, maybe long enough to smile
Either way I'm not alone, not alone, not alone

Say goodbye, I'll see you later
(If it's alright) now exit you
Even though you're not that far
I'm still wishing you were here

You could call me
You could call me, any time

Finally I've found a way to get away from me
Indebtedly, I've found the way to run away from me
and stay there for a while, maybe long enough to smile
Either way I'm not alone, not alone, not alone

Say goodbye, I'll see you later
(If it's alright) now exit you
Even though you're not that far
I'm still wishing you were here

You could call me
You could call me, any time



Little Hammer
listen:
positive: Little Hammer
Dimetapp Session 1997.  josh solo vocals and bass.  -paul

M

N
Nobody Here
listen:
Or Is He?: Nobody Here

lyrics:
The clock has stopped on 3:14
The VCR is flashing Twelve

A beaten path on threadbare carpet
Through a screen door to the porch

Untied sneakers find their way across
the lawn onto the road

A mile or two of needed silence
To a house that's on the right

The machine's light is blinking but
There's no message there
A knock on the front door but there's
Nobody here (but me)

The clock has stopped on 3:14


O

P

Par-4

lyrics:
A bug bite
A loose tooth on a string
A storm cloud
Backdrop in every dream

The flashflood
Is catching up to me
I'm driving fast
All the lights are green

I promise to catch you
Before we hit the ground
And if you look right behind you
I'm hid in the lost and found

All this
I've bargained for and tossed
A fairy tale
A blanket of moss

I promise to catch you
Whenever you come down
and if you look right behind you
I'm here in the lost and found



Pieces of Fruit
listen:
Soundtrack: Pieces of Fruit
jake and his acoustic at his grandmother's old house.  later in the song you can hear his grandmother clap her hands. -garrrr

Poignant

lyrics:
I'm taking all the things reminding me
of last week and I'm packing them away
Still rehearsing the whole truth about exhibit A

No one wants this story

The silver cord must be soaked in lavender
The twinkle in yr eye flutters by
on the way back down to an empty house
Where a candle burns... on and on
Disinhibition in closed circuitry
Send in the clowns
Cover up tonight it's cold



Poor Little Fluffy (My Cat Has a Urinary Tract Infection/U.T.I)
listen:
positive: Poor Little Fluffy
based on a concept by me.  music and lyrics by jacob.  jacob and josh vocals, jacob guitar.  alternate "hawaiian version" now believed lost. -paul


Porn
listen:
negative: Porn

Q
Quack Quack
listen:
positive: Quack Quack
Dimetapp Session 1997 recording.  interrupted in the middle by a phone call, then all hell breaks loose.  jacob guitar, josh bass, me on ice cream buckets.  -paul


Quitting Emotion
listen:
Nothing Yet: Quitting Emotion
recorded during the Nothing Yet session on my parents' living room floor in 1997/8.  jacob and me on guitar.  -paul
Soundtrack: Quitting Emotion
a little acoustic number jake was working on, i think he said he added a sound clip of i think paul and him talking during the whole song, i don't know. -garrrr

R
Red Scarves
listen:
Soundtrack: Red Scarves

jake and bobby messing around on acoustics. -garrrr



Retarded
listen:
Nothing Yet: Retarded


Rut
listen:
negative: Rut
Soundtrack: Rut

lyrics:
Never saw it coming until the end of all that came and left me here
Without a clue as to what the hell is wrong with me and
You asked me not to ever go but
(Oh no)
(Here I go)

Now how's a prick (like me) supposed to feel when
Everything is torn away and all that's real is the pain of yesterday
I thought I knew I wasn't fit to love you but you fooled me into
Knowing that I cared at least enough to cry and wish that I was dead
But I won't die...

You can't say "hi," well, screw me
I think I'm bitter, well, screw me
You look the other way, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me

Never saw it coming until the end of all that came and left me here
Without a clue as to what the hell is wrong with me and
You asked me not to ever go but
(Oh no)
(Here I go)

You can't say "hi," well, screw me
I think I'm bitter, well, screw me
You look the other way, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me
I think I'm hurt, well, screw me


S
Sleepless Sheep
listen:
positive: Sleepless Sheep


Sociable
listen:
negative: Sociable

lyrics:
Be polite it works, even if you're ugly
Smile no matter what if you're suicidal
Kill the pain you hide even while you're screaming
It's OK to cry but not without a reason

Sociable

Don't be so depressed
If you're chemically imbalanced
Don't call yourself a loser
Even if you are

Sociable

Now leave me alone
I don't need medication
Give me back those pills
I want a cigarette

Sociable



Spoken Thoughts
listen:
GMR Demos: Spoken Thoughts

lyrics:
We cry, we make time fly
Best friends, or are we?
Forever

They stare from behind glass doors
We never ask them why
We're here
We're all stuck inside

A picture
In a broken frame
From a bird's eye view
When the thought comes
I'll bite my lip
In the corner of my mind

Unspoken words mean nothing
Gonna take a walk outside
A cold wind blows
and I don't feel anything at all

A picture
In a broken frame
From a bird's eye view
When the thought comes
I'll bite my lip
In the corner of my mind

A picture
In a broken frame
From a bird's eye view
When the thought comes
I'll bite my lip
In the corner of my mind



Streaks of Genius
listen:
Nothing Yet: Streaks of Genius
Nothing Yet session 1997/8.  jacob guitar, me on vocals and guitar.  -paul

Stressed Spelled Backwards For Relief

lyrics:
No call
No show
Deer in the headlights
Kill this
Save parts
Scribbled out
Denied
Fan blades in slo-mo
Splattering tiny fairies like mosquitoes
This feels like drowning
Ten feet from shore
Paddle, paddle, paddle

Through our electrical fields



Subliminal Messages
listen:
positive: Subliminal Messages
positive: Segassem Lanimilibus
the forward and reverse of a jacob/josh song.  jake and josh on guitar and vocals.  -paul


Sweetest Dilemma
listen:
GMR Demos: Sweetest Dilemma
untitled: Sweetest Dilemma

lyrics:
I've been to the future
It's not all that great
I'd rather live here
'Cause all that can wait

The roads are all underground
The movies are free
But the walls all have headaches
And there aren't any trees.

I'm living in a lightbulb
I'm gonna be fine
The sweetest dilemma
Has happened this time

I'm stuck in a snowglobe
I don't wanna leave
The sweetest dilemma
I'll ever see

and whatever happens
Just does
I want to believe in something
Just once

and whatever happens
Just does
I want to believe in something
Just once


T
Tear You Down
listen:
GMR Demos: Tear You Down

lyrics:
In some other life
I have a different face
I'll flip the world over
Tear you down
and then i'll take yr place

'cause this time
I'm not âucking around
This time
There won't be a body found
'cause this time
I've got a plan
and they'll all come
From miles around
to shake my dying hand

Help
Help me

In some other life
I'll win the greatest race
I'll break the world open
Dig you out
and then i'll take yr place

'cause this time
I'm not screwing around
and this time
There won't be a body found
'cause this time
I gotta plan
This time
I'll be a man



Thirteen
listen:
Or Is He?: Thirteen


Tribbles 'N Bits
listen:
positive: Tribbles N Bits
negative: Tribbles N Bits
from a recording we did at Bobby's house in the summer of 1998 that featured the first demos we did with scott on drums. so it's jake, bobby, scott and i. -garrrr

Two Hours Ago

lyrics:
Forget anything I said two hours ago
You're just laughing instead of saying no

Waking up from waking up from
Waking up from waking up from
Waking

A mouthful of flies a crack in mold
But what will destroy new fallen snow

'Cause any moment now the floor'll give
and am I keeping it simply stupid enough for you?

Waking up from waking up from
Waking up from waking up from
Waking up

Girl, you've got the saddest eyes
Over that smile
and aren't you the one who told me
There's a black hole in every town?
So get out

Waking up from waking up from (Every single day)
Waking up from waking up from (Every single day)
Waking up from waking up from (Every single day)
Waking up from waking up from (Every single day)
Waking up from waking up from (Every single day)


U

V

W
Wake
listen:
GMR Demos: Wake

lyrics:
Put it all off
Live a life on hold
Call it all to be announced
Have a laugh
at the rain

In all honesty
I feel strangely good today
It's so unreal
It's unreal
It's unreal

Remember waking up
to toast and eggs?
Still dream of waking up?
Someday
Someday

In all honesty
I feel strangely good today
It's so unreal
It's unreal
It's unreal

Good Morning Reality
Good Morning
Good Morning Reality



Wordless
listen:
negative: Wordless
song by me.  always wanted to write words for it, but never did.  so i named it "wordless."   jacob and me on guitars, josh on ice cream buckets.  1996? -paul
Nothing Yet: Wordless
Nothing Yet session 1997/8.  jacob and me on guitars.  -paul

The Wrecking Ball

lyrics:
A thousand points of light
Are dead in the water
Dead in the water
A thousand points of light
Are swirling around

Diana
You're better off alone
You're better off
Diana
You're better off alone

Diana
You're better off alone
You're better off
Diana
You're better off alone

Already there's a crowd outside the window
Watching the wrecking ball
Already there's a crowd outside the window
Watching the wrecking ball

If you're thinking about it
Then it's already too late
'Cause even if wishes did come true

Already there's a crowd outside the window
Watching the wrecking ball
Already there's a crwod outside the window
Watching the wrecking ball
Watching the wrecking ball
Watching the wrecking ball
Watching the wrecking ball


X

Y
Your Table Is (Ready)
listen:
Soundtrack: Your Table Is (Ready)
jake, bobby, scott and i at jake's house. we were jamming that day, i think we were recording looking at life which is later on this cd. jake's grandmother made us all dinner and we just started hitting the plates and cups with the silverware, so jake ran and got the 4-track and recorded it until i broke a plate at the end. -garrrr

Z

#
Please submit omissions/corrections to paulhughes@resurrender.com.